The HIV Question!

Was talking to a friend the other day about how I was warming up to the idea of Mr Trouble coming down and I was asking her for ideas as to what we should do that night i.e dinner, bar or stay in… anyway while we were planning the night, she asked me if he uses protection when he’s sleeping with other girls and when was the last time he had a HIV screening…For a moment I was a little taken back by the questions but what freaked me out even more was that I dint even have an inkling of an answer to these questions....I’m a firm believer in protection and I’m making appointment for my next screening in a few weeks, so okay that’s me in check but what about him?

Me and Mr T have talked about sex on many occasions so its not like the topic has never come up. I was warming up to the idea of him coming to c me and if we really clicked then we would hook up….but now I’m not so sure.. Considering we’ve been talking for a month now and I haven’t seen him since the night we met. How do I even approach the subject without getting ahead of myself?

Taking a step away from my situation.. Generally when going through the initial dating stages of getting to know each other, at what point should you bring it up ?From my experience people are still willing to shut their eyes and jump into shark infested water pretending that shark wont get them!!! and as much as it’s a dating faux pas to talk about the Ex’s it seems that asking about each others views on protection and when their last HIV Screening was, is the ultimate faux faux pas ...

Asked by the guy early in the dating stage makes the guy seem too eager to get into the girls pants.. asked by the girl in the same situation and this may send the guy one of two signals.. either the green light signal that means she’s up for it or red light that meaning that’s she sleeps around.

We need to get out of this cloud and accept that HIV is here to stay at least for a while and its in our best interests if we are going to have sex that we open up and talk about these things without being judgemental… fumbling for a condom in the dark jus wont cut it anymore!

So taking my own advice, this week I mentioned to Mr T that I was making an appointment to get a HIV test and asked him when was the last time he had one done.I think it was nerves but I really rushed thru that question and jus as luck would have it, he dint hear it properly so I had to basically spell it out for him. He told me it was a couple months ago when he changed his insurance. Glad that I had an answer to the question…something else crept into my head and I started thinking well its great that he’s had the test but how many women has he been with since his last test? My dilemma is in now trying to figure out how to ask him to get another test done, without seeming like I want to tie him into a relationship and scare him away..