ADDICT!

Hi my name is Machozi and I’m addicted to Limewire (Downloading software)

I don’t know how or when its started but now I’m just hooked, I have to check on it constantly see what’s downloading,watch the speeds,see which ones are almost done , sometimes I’ll even watch the countdown as it completes the download… if u dint know any better someone would think I’m monitoring Kengen stock or a life support machine … my computer has not been turned off in a week…

It used to be jus polite downloading maybe once or twice a week….u know, a new episode of Lost a new song u heard on Tv or an old favourite that u had 4gotten about…. anyway it was moderate here and there…but now I cant go a day without it for the past two weeks I’ve been downloading stuff anything and everything searching US websites for the latest jams and even gone to US channel sites trying to figure out what new shows have come out…so I can download them….. downloaded about 5 movies that I have not even begun to watch….. I first finished the 1st season of Weeds…which rocks! Cant wait for season 2… then went on to Gilmore Girls (I had missed that show so much, as at home me and my mom used to enjoy watching it.. I know my mom and I secretly wanted our relationship to be like the Gilmore girls) the show does not disappoint season 5 & 6 is great after that I finally finished Lost season 2.. it got a bit boring in the middle but the end is a kicker and a half! Then Alias… Yea so now I’ve found this new show to download its called Entourage…its quite cool not so long though its average running time for each episode is about 25 mins so I got thru season one in a day…(yes I have nothing better to do) got the second season now and taking it slow but soon it will be done and then I’ll be in trouble …..So yup I need to break free…Is there a Limewire or a downloader’s Anonymous somewhere out there?… I need Help!

Unanswered once, twice ,three times.....Delete!

He finally came down and he was okay, not as scary as I thought he would be..I dressed up he dressed down, I was in black trousers and heels he was in black long shorts and these horrid converse hightop pin striped shoes… somehow I assumed he’d be in his work clothes so we were a terrible miss match it kinda felt like roles were reversed I ‘m a total sneaker casual type of gal and he’s more a suit and sweater type of guy.. anyway,
It was wow! just as he said it would be and I was not as wow as I thought I could be but either way it was gotten out of the way in a very very fun way.. we talked about everything and anything and even went to the subject of the best way to cook rice!!! It went well… at least I thought it did, talked to him the day after and everything was cool… so now two unanswered texts and one unanswered phone call and almost two weeks of silence from his end and I decided to delete his number…so that done I now have to slowly weed him out of my life text by text …the number was easy… menu, contacts, name, delete! But the texts hmm those are a bit harder coz u have to open every single msg in order to delete it… all the “hey beautiful texts” and drunken 3am texts, the special little now insignificant things he said that I saved jus to make me smile…I don’t want to do to it, I don’t not want him in my life its jus that….. two unanswered texts and one unanswered phone call and almost two weeks of silence jus screams out ITS OVER!!!!!!!… Reality = Guys are big wimps! they’d rather ignore a girl then jus tell them its not working…so now my plan is every morning delete one or two texts if I’m in a good mood and the sun is shinning and soon enough there wont be anymore left to delete and I can move on with my life! Moving out of my house in a weeks time…Mann the year has gone so fast… I’m gonna miss my double bed! Really dreading the single campus bed awaiting me next year anyway …Up north I go cant wait for the next chapter of this year to begin!

WHOOHOOO!

Another Midnight Newspaper Session!

I've been recently taking breaks in between my reading/study sessions to read the daily nation..I wasn't an avid reader of the paper but now that I've started I cant stop as everyday this week I've been thoroughly entertained... jus read this article and I thought it was hilarious.... The end bit I've posted had me cracking up ..Though the reality is that poverty makes us do crazy things and although the story is funny its quite sad....We are all privileged to be able to afford to sit in front of these computer screens ...

For the full article: http://www.nationmedia.com
The sex Bill made simple
Story by PETER KIMANI /Monday Mix
Publication Date: 05/01/2006



Prisoner of his own imagination

Some bloke in Nyeri was so broke that he decided to fake his own abduction and claim the ransom. How imaginative can some people get!

The man is said be a freelance photographer. But things do get a bit hard (like when tea bonuses are not paid for years, and the 36-exposure film lasts 24 months due to scarce orders).

So the man decided to test his parents' love for him, and whether they would part with all their earthly possessions to redeem him.

The plot was easy: a bus ride to Kakamega, a few hours' practice speaking like most people there do – which means replacing letter 'd' with 't' and 'b' with 'p', then placing a call home with words like: "Ile mchamaa ya kwenyu iko mparoni. Yeye takula ukali mpila mpoka..."

Which means the man in question is in serious trouble and the relatives had better come to his rescue before things got elephant.

After a series of urgent meetings, the family manages to raise enough cash. They deposit it at a local bank, as instructed. (It is evident the man did not wish to pay more fare to a distant location).

And bingo! The man takes the next bus home, smiling all the way to the bank. The policemen waiting for him smile, too. This is one story with a happy ending, and a clean solution.

The man is cooling off in jail, as he possibly contemplates his next escapade.

jus had to share wit the non nation readers!

SAD SAD DAY

I was reading the Nation last night as I have moved my study sessions to the early AM's in the library and I was in shock as to the things Mps ask for... to add insult to injury.. ati the mps want a lump sum of I dont know how much at the end of their term i.e a gratuity for services rendered to the kenyan public!!!! what services???? I dint know theft was a govt appointed service!

whats the point of getting a university education these days while u can be a form 4 drop out and become an Mp who makes himself self tons money from the govt and as if that money is not enough engages shady deals that steal more money from the kenyan people!

The worst thing though has to be that all this money is tax free! yup clean no tax man on your back! so from the govt straight to their already fat pockets! Yurk!

I AM NOT MY HAIR

Been away from my blog and blog world missed all the Awards madness in the name of Working,partyin while also tryin to study for my exams coming up ..So many adventures I want to blog about but it'll have to wait till after the exams are over...

I love love love India Arie, and I love this song esp now that I've changed my hair people seem to be reacting differently towards me... jus saw the remix and been playin it like crazy!

India Arie - I'm Not My Hair (Remix) ft Akon

TABIA MBAYA!

My pal jus sent me this Fwd and I thot it was the funniest thing i've read this week... funny, coz the situation rung so close to home....I could picture the whole thing happening right infront of me....

nb:I dont fall into the category of chicks like this but I've got pals who have been situations xactly like this! Have a great weekend Folks!


The case for staying home on a sato night

Chic: (calls jmburus) "Hello... Sasa Jamo.. its Sato bana.. si we do some nyama ?"
jmburus: Thinking he will get some that night quickly agrees... "Sawa sweetie.. how about buffet park Shall I pick u at 2?"
Chic: Sawa.. laterz.
(jmburus amukas from Friday's hengies, showers, jeans n polo shirt, pockets a pack of condoms, then drives to the chics crib...)
So at 2-ish they drive into Buffet park and pitia the butchery to order the nyaks.
jmburus (to chic) : So what do u want to have .. ?
Chic: just anything...
(aki these women are just thick at times... sasa hiyo ni jibu gani)
jmburus (to butcher): Weka hizo mbavu, kilo moja na nusu, choma, ... ikuje na kachum... *..**
(chic interrupts jmburus ! )
chic: APANA eeiishh! Si you know I dont eat goat meat
(jmburus thinks to himself... " Really!... then why didnt you say so in the first place, nugu hii")
jmburus: (To chic) How about beef then?
chic: Its ok so long as it is not fat and not the legs. I dont like mathunya...
(jmburus looks away and rolls eyes up .. thinks to himself... "ati fat, you are already carrying a 40 kilo MATAKO, surely ... 2 grams of fat are negligible)
jmburus: (to an already impatient butcher) basi si unitafutie ngombe haina mafuta.
(butcher chucks a ki-nice piece from the hangers hapo nyuma and holds it up for jmburus to see)
jmburus: weka hiyo nione...
(as the butcher is weighing it on the scale.. chic point at a small..... very very small piece of fat on the meat)
chic: Hiyo iko na mafuta mingi sana, tuonyeshe ingine...
(butcher curses .. under his breath)
(other hungry buyers who are waiting hapo kando start fidgeting)
(jmburus feels like he should just have ordered fish fry from those fat jang'o women they pitad on their way in)
(chic points at a fresh carcass of meat ... somewhere near where the meat is hanging from such that is impossible to extract a piece without the entire carcass falling down on the floor)
Chic: kata pale ...
butcher: hapo haiwezekani mama .. kula hii ndio fiti
(butcher attempts to return the piece back on the scale)
Chic: Apana!.. Hauna nyama zingine kwa store...
jmburus: (to chic) lets do this... let him fry that one, I will eat the mathunya pieces ama... ?
chic: OK
jmburus: (to butcher) Fanya iwe fry na uweke nyanya, dhania na spinach. Ongeza ugali mbili...
chic: (to jmburus) .. Ugali? me I dont want ugg.. Dont they have chipos.
chic: (to butcher) leta na ugali moja na chips mbili
(jmburus thinks to himself... no wonder the butt is 40Kgs.. sasa u avoid animal fat then u kula half a gunia of chipoz .. talk about nyani haoni kundule)
Butcher: KAMAU!!! Oya nyama ino! ni furae, na wikire nyanya, dhania na spinashi. ndugekire waaru..
(butcher pins the meat with a tag and tosses it to kamau in the kichen behind him)
Butcher: Sawa... shika resiti .. namba yako ni 53...Itachukwa ithaa moja ...
jmburus pays the butcher and chukuwas the receipt and tag..
So we enter the open space of the club and sit down. Waiter comes, jmburus orders his cold Tusker, chic orders her malt..
We kunywa kidogo.. storoz panda... then there is this mama who pitaz a tray of oil oozing samosas, sausages and mshikakis..
Chic: we psst ppstt nipe samosa mbili na hiyo nini ...
jmburus: (shocked).. haiya si u wait for the meat..
Chic: I will still kula the meat...
jmburus: ok (and she proceeds to kula 2 samoz and 3 mshikakis)
One hour 20 minutes later .. the Waiter comes round with maji moto for washing hands.. we wash our hands and the the meat checks in with the chipos and the Ugali all hot steaming and looking nice...
"Bonne Appetit"! .. Karibu Nyama " ... Jmburus invites the mama and thinks to himself.. now she will really shiba...
LAKINI WAPI!
Yaani after all that shiet, she just hen pecks about the platter of meat here and there BUT proceeds to maliza the 2 plates of chipoz having eaten only 3 pieces of nyama.
As if that is NOT ENOUGH ... 3 minutes later: Chic: tsk! tsk! chief...tsk! tsk! Waiter ! niletee serviettes pliz..na toothpicks
jmburus: (cursing silently ) why arent you eating nyama....
chic: I have shibad deadly plus I started feeling my ulcers ... Si u jua the way they can be nasty..
(without another word jmburus proceeds to kula what he can and asks waiter to pack the rest of the meat in a juala) Jmburus patias waiter the now wrapped remaining meat to peleka to his car ...... Then he fungulias the carburattor (sp) "LETA TUSKER mbili na MALT Mbili" as they wait for the Arsenal Match coming on the screens in about 20 mins.. Beers, Storoz, the game.... more beer flows... After kindu like 2 hours... to the amazement of jmburus...
Chic: tsk! tsk! chief...tsk! tsk! niitie yule mama wa sambusa...
...(jmburus closes his eyes and thinks silently... we should just have headed to Topaz..Fish n chips... )
(So later on at around 12:30 pm Jmburus takes the chick to the car and starts being naughty kidogo. the chick responds well and before long they are catching rubs like .....)
jmburus: baby .. baby .. si we go to somewhere more private??
Chick: aaah.. aaah... you naughty boy!!! rrrrrrr. sure whats on your mind?
Jmburus: Ill show you!
(jmburus drives like a mad man in anticipation of what is at stake '40 kg of pure booty' occassionaly missing the gears and going way up her tiny skirt.) before long they get to jmburus hao.Catch all the way to the fifth floor.
jmburus: (both already half naked, jmburu tries to chuck her pants)
Chick: weeee iz how what you trying to do?
Jmburus: (amazed) kwani what do you think ?
chick: bilaz I dont want!!
Jmburus: come on babe!
Chick: (pulling a very serious look) NO! Dont do that!
jmburus: hala! whats the matter! (thinking! si thamutha umekula ? na viazi vya mafuta?)
Chick: I cant
Jmburus: (tusker malt tano na nyama ya ngombe fry? shuma lazima ilale ndani!)
Chick: I'm rolling !!!
Jmburu: Sh*T!!!
Conclusion : TABIA MBAYA!!!!! That was the last time I took her out!!!
Yeah right!!!! :-))